New Year's Dissolutions

Tags: Vegetables | Diets | New Years | Resolutions | Food

With great power comes great responsibility. With great amounts of junk food come great amounts of fat.

Now that all the holiday cheer, food, and booze is behind everyone, they look to their future and decide to make a change for the better. And they do. For two – six weeks anyway. This week I've seen no less than three of my coworkers with sandwich bags full of vegetables. These are people who I have witnessed, for the past 11 months, eat nothing but gravy-drenched beef, french fries, mashed potatoes, fish sticks, and anything else that the company cafeteria dished out of it deep fryers, on a daily basis. At lunch-time, no less! A great number of the people in this building eat like it's Thanksgiving every bloody day.

Occasionally I neglect to pack a lunch and am forced to consume the cafeteria's uncomely comestibles. And each time I go there I see the same guy in line and he orders the same thing every time—a bacon cheeseburger and fries. Now I'm no diehard health nut myself, but come on man! But I digress. Chacun son goût, non?

It's just amusing to see all these people go through six weeks of self-improvement before falling back into their old routines. I think next December I'll get a three-month lease on a few thousand square feet downtown. Then I'll rent a bunch of gym equipment. I'll pound the pavement in December and Janaury selling memberships to my great new workout haven. As soon as March hits I'll return the equipment, close the doors, and no one will even notice.